


One Fish, Two Fish

by RunWithWolves



Series: 30 Days of Cupcake [24]
Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-13
Updated: 2016-10-13
Packaged: 2018-08-22 07:05:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8277046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RunWithWolves/pseuds/RunWithWolves
Summary: Carmilla's plan had been to lay low and play with the kittens during her shift at the pet store but one tackle from an overeager customer changes her plans. With a dead fish in a bag shoved in Carmilla's face, Laura practically demands that Carmilla help her find a replacement before Laf discovers that Laura's killed their experiment. It was supposed to be a one time thing. Turns out Laura isn't very good at keeping fish alive.





	

**Author's Note:**

> it was brought to my attention that in 30daysofcreampuff i wrote about kittens and in 10moredaysofcreampuff i wrote about spiders. this series also needed some animal love. 
> 
> so fish.

When Carmilla had woken up that morning, her only goal had been to work as little as possible by hiding out with the cats in the backroom. She hadn’t anticipated nearly getting tackled by a customer the moment she stepped into the main store. All she’d wanted was another cat toy. 

Now she had to deal with the hyperactive bundle of sugar in front of her. 

Albeit a very pretty hyperactive bundle of sugar. 

Carmilla caught a glimpse of brown hair and big brown eyes as she was forcibly dragged into the corner of the pet store where they kept the rabbits. “I need your help,” the girl hissed.

“Because I’m totally pre-disposed to help people who tackle me out of nowhere,” Carmilla said.

“This is an emergency,” the girl said.

Carmilla flopped her hand towards the front of the store, “Pet emergencies go to the vet, cupcake.”

“My name is Laura and it’s not that kind of emergency,” Laura said, “This is already beyond the vet. All the other store employees are busy and I don’t have any time to waste.” A plastic bag was shoved in Carmilla’s face and she nearly went cross-eyed trying to peer into it. 

As soon as she did, Carmilla batted the bag away and took a step back, “Get that out of my face, cupcake.”

“It’s in a bag!” Laura said.

Still, Laura moved the bag away and Carmilla took another look from a safer distance. Floating behind the clear plastic and clearly not moving was a vibrantly orange goldfish. 

“I think your fish is dead.” Carmilla said.

Laura’s nose scrunched, “I know that! That’s the problem. The fish can’t just die!”

Carmilla rolled her eyes, “I hate to be the one to inform you but there’s this thing called the life cycle that culminates in the extinguishing of life as immortality is an unreachable constru-”

“I know what death is!” Laura said. She glared at Carmilla, moving to put her hands on her hips before remembering the fish bag. Jerking her arm, she kept it suspended away from her body. “I just need you help to make the fish not dead.”

“I’m flattered that you think I control life and death,” Carmilla deadpanned, “Can’t say I’ve been called the Grim Reaper before. Angel of Death. Vampire. Valkyrie hottie. But death master is a new one.” She tapped her chin and tried not to smirk at the increasingly infuriated look on the girl’s face, “Maybe I should go out and buy a scythe.”

“Can you be serious for just one second?” Laura said.

Carmilla sighed, “Sure, cupcake.” Then she winked, “Typically I require a wager of your soul to get something dead back but I’d settle for a date with a pretty girl.”

Laura’s eyes widened as a blush covered her cheeks. Then she took a deep breath and narrowed her eyes, “Are you going to help me or not?”

“That depends,” Carmilla said, “Do you consider standing here and staring at you until you go away helpful? Because that’s the current plan.”

For a moment, she actually thought Laura was going to stamp her foot. Instead, Laura’s eyes blazed with something that looked like fire, “Isn’t it your job to help people? I could totally complain to your manager, you know.”

Carmilla leaned back against the shelf, “Please do. I’d love to get fired. I’m only here because my mother thought it would be good for me.”

Laura’s whole body twitched and Carmilla had to fight her smile. 

Taking a step away from her, Carmilla watched as Laura scanned the whole story as she tried to find another employee to talk to. Unfortunately, Kirsch had an armful of puppies and Xena was, to Carmilla’s enjoyment, getting attacked by a couple of parrots. The sight was so distracting that she hadn’t realized Laura had turned back around until Laura was literally right in her face. 

She smelled like freshly mowed grass and chocolate.

“Alright look,” Laura said, shoving the dead fish bag against Carmilla’s chest, “My friends went out of town for a science conference and I told them that I’d watch their fish. Apparently it’s part of an experiment or something and they didn’t even want to leave it with me but I assured them that I could handle it. It’s a fish. It shouldn’t have been hard.”

“Apparently it didn’t go well,” Carmilla interrupted. 

Laura huffed, “Obviously.”

“Get too distracted by your girlfriend?” Carmilla asked, rolling her eyes. 

“Doctor Who.” Laura mumbled. 

Now Carmilla couldn’t help the smile that broke across her face, “You’re adorable, cupcake.”

Laura’s nose crinkle and blush was quickly becoming her favourite thing. “There was a marathon,” Laura said quickly, “And I was on a 24 hour binge and I forgot about the fish and now it’s dead so you have to help me find a replacement fish so that Laf doesn’t know that I couldn’t even keep a fish alive.” She paused then muttered something.

“Sorry, cupcake. I didn’t quite catch that.” She leaned in a little closer, trying not to grin at the hitch in Laura’s breath when Carmilla entered her space. 

“And I’m single.” Laura muttered.  


Carmilla gave her a cocky salute and a wicked grin, “Duly noted. Can’t say why you wanted me to have that information but good to know.”

Laura’s mouth opened and closed as she stammered. 

It was like watching a kitten try to figure out how to drink water for the first time. Adorable and in need of rescuing. She did have a secret weakness for small adorable things. 

Sighing, Carmilla whisked the dead fish bag out of Laura’s hand and peered at it. Then, without a word, she spun around and headed towards the darkest corner of the store. She made it to the end of aisle before she turned and looked at Laura, still standing next to the rabbits, “You coming, cupcake? We’ve got to get you a fish.”

Laura lit up and followed Carmilla. 

#

With a new fish in a travel bag, Laura grinned at Carmilla from across the register as she swiped her credit card. “He’s perfect!” Laura said, “He looks exactly like Laf’s old fish. How did you do that? You even got the fins right!”

“He’s a fish, cupcake,” Carmilla said, “They all look pretty much the same.”

Laura was still cooing over the fish, “No. No. There were like hundreds of fish in there and you happened to pick the one that actually matches? That’s skill.”

She put Laura’s credit card on the counter, “It was nothing.”

“Take the compliment, Carm,” Laura was suddenly frowning up at her, “You really saved me here. Laf would never let me forget it if I killed their fish.” Maybe Carmilla’s brain was on the fritz but for a moment she thought Laura’s gaze turned sultry, “If there’s any way I can make it up to you?”

A flirty one-liner was on the tip of her tongue when Kirsch burst from the backroom. His eyes frantic and a kitten in his arms, “Carm-sexy!” He shouted, “What happens if I fed one of the tiny cat bros dog food?”

Swearing, Carmilla was around the counter and sweeping the kitten from his arms. She rushed to the back room, twinging at having to leave Laura behind. 

An hour later, Carmilla found herself in the backroom of the shop with two overly inquisitive kittens in her lap. The black one with the white feet looked up at her and mewed, poking her chin with his fuzzy nose. 

She sighed and scratched his head, “She was a very pretty girl, you know,” Carmilla told him, “I hope you appreciated that.”

The kitten started purring.

“Yeah yeah,” Carmilla tried to look miffed even as she kept scratching his head, “Maybe we should name you Little Nuisance.”

#

Two weeks later, she had the kitten sitting on her shoulder as she stocked the shelves. His tail flicked back and forth, tickling the edges of her ear. 

“Carmilla!” Came the shout.

Turning, she tried not to groan at what sure to be Danny asking her to do some other mundane task. The ginger giant worked like it was some kind of religion and took it as a personal offence that Carmilla didn’t feel the same way. She very intentionally took her time walking to the front desk, sloughing her feet as she went. 

She froze as soon as the desk came in sight. While Danny was standing behind the desk, the girl in front of it was practically bouncing as she moved on her toes clearly antsy. 

Carmilla dropped her voice to a husk, “Cupcake. Didn’t think I’d be seeing you here again after we averted the last crisis.”

Jumping, Laura spun around and Carmilla caught hints of a blush on her cheeks, “Carm. Hi. You remember me. I didn’t think you would-”

Not liking the look in Danny’s eye, Carmilla finagled her way between Danny and Laura, “It’s not every day a girl knocks me over and then asks me to bring their fish back to life.”

“I did not ask you to bring my fish back to life!” Laura said, twitching suddenly gone, “You just said that bec-”

Carmilla winked and her words died. 

Laura’s nose crinkled, “you know, it’s rude to tease people.”

“That’s what makes it fun,” Carmilla said. The kitten on her shoulder batted her neck with his paw as though disapproved of the comment. 

Laura’s eyes went wide and a grin lit up her face, “Kitten! That’s so cute.” her fingers came out then paused, “Can I pet him?”

Maybe she should name the kitten ‘Ladykiller’.

“Of course,” she plucked the kitten off her shoulders and gently set him in Laura’s arms. Immediately Laura started cooing and speaking in the nonsensical baby talk that Carmilla had never quite understood. She preferred to talk to cats like the intelligent beings they were. Yet somehow, as Laura told the kitten that he was adorable using every adjective available, Carmilla found herself smiling. 

The words fell out before she could stop them, “Want to see something even cuter?”

It was worth it to see Laura’s eyes light up. 

Moving to the cat toy aisle as Laura followed, Carmilla grabbed one of the feather toys. Immediately, the kitten’s eyes locked on the toy. She wiggled it and his butt started wiggling as his eyes followed it. Laura giggled and he pounced, leaping from her arms to try and attack the feather. 

She kept it up for another fifteen minutes just because Laura kept giggling, only stopping when a tired kitten started gnawing on her shoelaces. Smiling, she scooped him up and tucked him in the hood on the back of her work hoodie. 

“Okay, I take it back,” Laura’s words made her look up from where she was adjusting the kitten, “This right here is definitely the cutest part. Who would have thought that the badass in wearing leather pants that look way too tight to be work appropriate would put a kitten in her sweater?”

Carmilla refused to blush. Instead, she forced a smirk and said, “Been checking out my pants, cupcake?”

Laura did blush. Smiled but blushed. 

Eventually, Carmilla took pity on her, “So,” she said, “what are you here for? Another fish? Don’t tell me you killed the last one already?”

Taking a deep breath, Laura looked at Carmilla. Just as she was about to speak, she seemed to change her mind and the words came out fast and furious, “Yupp,” Laura said, “A fish. That would be great. Need a new one, of course. Why else would I be here? Laf’s just gone on another conference and I need another fish. Do you have any fish?” She flailed her hands through the air.

“This is a pet store,” Carmilla reminded her. Then she winked, “I think I can find you a fish.”

Laura’s blush grew.

#

Laura was back a week later. When Carmilla got the call and trudged over to the desk, she actually snorted. “They’re fish, cupcake. It really isn’t that hard.” She had a hand on the small of Laura’s back, moving her away from the desk before Danny could get what looked like another flirty comment out. 

Looking up at her, Laura swallowed. Words again seeming like they were on the tip of her tongue.

“Can’t say I was expecting to see my favourite fish murderer again,” Carmilla said into the silence. 

That woke Laura up, “I am not some serial fish killer!”

“History is against you there,” Carmilla said. “It’s always the pretty ones who surprise you.”

“No. Really,” Laura said, “I’m not a serial fish killer. I just. I don’t. I keep. I…” She looked so frustrated when she couldn’t get the words out, nose crinkling in anger. 

Leaning back against the fish tank, Carmilla stuffed her hands in her pocket to keep them from fidgeting, “Tell you what cupcake,” she said, “I can’t have the death of all these fish on conscience. So I’m obligated to give you a lesson in basic fish care.”

“Obligated?” She could literally hear the smile in Laura’s voice. 

“Staff policy,” Carmilla said, trying to keep her voice flat as she stared at the ceiling. 

“Mmmhmmmm,” Laura hummed, “And how do I know that you’re the fish expert you claim to be?”

Carmilla looked her straight in the eye, “Can’t tell you that.” She pushed off the wall and into Laura’s space, “I’ve got to keep my air of mystery somehow, don’t I?”

She could have sworn Laura shivered as Carmilla walked past her and into the back room to get the fish supplies and another fish. 

#

Fish Four came only a week later. 

Carmilla spoke before Laura could say anything, “Well. Figuring that the serial fish deaths wouldn’t end I’ve been scoping the fish out all week and know exactly which one you need to fool your friend.”

Whatever Laura had expected her to say, that clearly wasn’t it. “Wait. You.” Laura stuttered out, “You’ve been looking at fish for me.”

Carmilla shrugged, “Can’t let you murder a mediocre fish, cupcake.”

Two weeks later, Laura was back and Carmilla got to spend two hours running her through ‘Fish Care for Dummies’ before Laura walked out with fish number five. 

It only took three days before Laura was back. Distracted by the kitten back on Carmilla’s shoulder, they ended up playing with the kittens as Carmilla took Laura into the backroom to help her try and name them. When Laura insisted on playing with the kitten and cat toys, Carmilla got to wrap her arm around Laura to ‘help’ her wave the stick right.

Laura didn’t utter a word of rejection. 

When the kittens fell asleep at her feet, she took the sixth fish without a word. 

Maybe she would name the kitten ‘wingman’, Laura’s smell lingering on her sleeves.

When Laura came back a week later, Carmilla insisted that Laura watch her clean every tank so that she could see how to do it properly. Laura opened her mouth and then closed it as Carmilla pulled off her sweater to reveal the tanktop underneath. 

She wasn’t getting her sweater covered in fish goo.

Danny almost fainted when she learned that Carmilla had spent five hours cleaning the fish tanks. It hadn’t seemed that long with Laura hovering just over her shoulder and chatter in her ears until she left with the seventh fish. 

Laura almost forgot fish 8. They spent most of their time playing with the kittens as Carmilla confessed that she was thinking about getting the nameless one for herself. Laura sat right beside her, knees brushing as the kittens climbed all over them. Then Kirsch brought out the puppies and even Carmilla couldn’t not laugh at a Laura Hollis drenched from head to toe in puppies in kittens. 

Staying til the store closed, Laura had already left when Carmilla realized that she hadn’t gotten her fish. 

So she quickly walked it out to the parking lot. 

Carmilla Karnstein definitely did not run. 

By the time Laura came in the next time, she didn’t even bother stopping at the desk. She just walked straight into the store and found Carmilla between the aisles. The kitten was curled up in her hood again, now officially hers. 

Turning, Carmilla looked over at Laura, “Cupcake. Good timing. We just got a new shipment of fish and there are a couple that look prime for a good serial killer to pick them-”

“Go on a date with me,” the words burst from Laura, “Please. No fish. Go on a date with me.”

#

Laura picked her up at 7:30 and Carmilla learned that when Laura ate ice cream, it got all over her mouth. 

Only one solution to clean that up.

Laura tasted like chocolate.

#

Walking Laura home that night, Carmilla smiled as Laura’s fingers brushed against her own. Once. Twice. Three times. Carmilla grabbed her hand on the fourth, smiling and ducking her head as Laura grinned and twisted their fingers together. It stayed put until they got to Laura’s house.

A blonde Carmilla didn’t recognize was walking out of the front door but Carmilla knew from endless stories that this was likely Laura’s roommate, Betty. “Laura!” she said, eyeing the pair of them, “I fed all the fish. Didn’t think you’d be home tonight. Does this mean you’ll finally stop buying them?”

Carmilla literally felt Laura freeze beside her.

“Cupcake?” she asked. 

Laura swallowed, her voice suddenly high-pitched, “Thanks Betty. Great. Perfect. Awesome. Have a great night!”

Betty raised an eyebrow. Then she grinned, shook her head, and walked away with her hands in the air, “Seven fish is excessive, Hollis. Just saying.”

It only took Carmilla a moment to put it together. The biggest grin fought to erupt across her face as she turned to Laura and said, “Seven fish, cupcake?”

Laura groaned, taking back her hand to cover her face. That didn’t stop Carmilla from seeing the deep red blush spread across her chest. “The first time I really did need a fish,” she mumbled, “But then I went back the second time to ask you out because yeah, you were annoying, but then you weren’t and you looked so concerned about those kittens. Except I chickened out and I didn’t have another excuse to be there so I just bought the fish.” She peeked out between her fingers, “And it just kind of escalated from there.”

Carmilla was careful to keep her expression neutral, “Can i see them?”

“What?” Laura asked, hands coming down.

“Can I see the fish?” Carmilla repeated.

“Um. Sure?” Laura said, “I guess?” Her hands fumbled with the door as she opened it and then pointed to the living room. The house was an explosion of colour and comfy looking furniture but Carmilla was more interested in the seven small fish tanks scattered over the bookshelves. Each glass bowl bore a name in sharpie ‘Angie’ ‘Peggy’ ‘Willow’ ‘Lexa’ ‘Shaw’ and so on.

She turned back around to find Laura standing nervously near the door as though she was expecting to open it again at any second. 

“It’s not everyday a girl buys seven fish just to talk to you.” She said like she was making normal conversation. 

Laura groaned and covered her face again, “it’s weird, I know. And excessive. I just couldn’t figure out how to talk to you and then you were so sweet and I kept panicking and Laf has been laughing at me for weeks but every time I tried to say that I didn’t want a fish, you had one ready. And this is wierd. I’m sorry. You probably want to go.”

“I spent hours cleaning out fish tanks just so you wouldn’t leave,” Carmilla shrugged as Laura’s head slammed up, “I’ve never touched those tanks in my life before you.” She crossed the room and leaned back into Laura’s space, using her hands on the wall to hover just over Laura’s lips. 

“I’m flattered” Laura breathed, “but that means you could have just asked me out and solved this whole problem.You owe me for the fish.”

“Do I?” Carmilla said, “And how would you like your payment?”

Laura just wrapped her arms around Carmilla’s neck and smiled. 

So Carmilla kissed her again, letting Laura squeal as she smiled against her lips.

When they finally broke apart, Carmilla’s grin was out in full force, “I know what I’m naming the kitten.”

Laura’s smile turned a little bemused, “Okay? What?”

“Fish.”

Laura laughed.

**Author's Note:**

> i swear i didn't come up with that kitten name twist until i was 2/3s through and then i couldn't resist.  
> ACT 3 TONIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i'll probably be emotionally compromised. 
> 
> Just wanted to say again how thankful I am for all of your support and kindness. Everything from your kudos and comments to your [ tumblr stop-ins ](http://ariabauer.tumblr.com/) and flailing gives me a case of the smiles and helps me keep writing in the hours when the sun rises and when it sets. As we draw to the end, it helps me know where to put my energy.
> 
> This is the twenty-fourth story of '30 Days of Cupcake' where I'll be posting a unique Carmilla fanfic every weekday for 30 days. Stay stupendous. Aria.


End file.
